Nostalgia No More
If you’ve read this blog for the smallest amount of time you’ll know that I’m an 80’s metal head through and through.
So I was super excited when I found out that we were getting VH1 Classics. They block off a wedge of time, call it Metal Mania, and play nothing but 80’s metal videos. I didn’t have MTV growing up and I only could watch Headbanger’s Ball when a friend taped it for me. With much glee and anticipation I set our DVR to record Metal Mania so I could bask in all the goodness of 80’s metal, when music was really good and big hair ruled the world.
Once an episode (3 hours!!) had recorded, I quickly started watching…..
…..the first video to play was Judas Priest’s Breaking the Law. I love this song and had never seen the video. I sure wish I hadn’t!
What kinda crap is this? How did these metal gods let this video ever be produced? It is painful to look at! Make it stop!
After Breaking the Law comes Holy Diver by Dio. One of my favorite Dio songs ever.
And one of the worst videos ever. C’mon Ronnie! No one ever holds a sword like that! I just really had to laugh out loud at this one!
Next up was Def Leppard’s Rock of Ages. Again, Pyromania is one of my all time favorite albums and should be required listening for anyone who calls themselves a child of the 80’s. After seeing this video, I just shook my head.
Now this is a craptastic video. Like Holy Diver, there is a sword, but this one is clearly made of cardboard. If there was an award for cheesiness, this video might take it!
The last video I will make fun of is Dokken’s Breaking the Chains. Before I roast ’em, I just want everyone to know that Dokken is one of my favorite 80’s metal bands and I think they personify that 80’s sound.
Don Dokken sure needs a new make up artist! What the heck is that thing on George Lynch’s head? Can you really play the bass by slamming your fist next to the strings? Ugh…gotta love it whent the guitar strings turn into chains though!
So, my walk down memory lane turned a little sour. No wonder the younger crowd doesn’t appreciate 80’s metal! It looks so darn cheesy when you look at it! But that’s what it was all about back then, eh? Having fun, hanging out with your homeys and just banging your head.
But what would a critique of 80’s metal videos be without including my favorite, Stryper! Always There For You actually got quite a bit of airplay back in the day.
You gotta love that Yellow and Black Attack! To Hell With The Devil! Honestly!