Transformers 2: the anger of a fallen fan
I’m sure you have heard of all the bad reviews that the second Transformer movie is getting. I absolutely loved the first movie so I just couldn’t believe all the bad press the sequel was getting. The reviewers had to be missing something, right?
I took my beautiful wife of almost 16 years to see it last night. I was giddy and excited and a little nervous. What if this movie sucked as bad as the critics said? As the lights dimmed, I assured myself that I was in for 2+ hours of awesomeness.
Here goes my rant: I could not wait for this movie to be over. Shia LeBeouf did a good job, but otherwise, the characters were inane and weak and shallow. Don’t tell me not to expect much as this is a Michael Bay movie. I went in with super low expectations of a storyline and character development, and those expectations were sorrily disappointed!
The human characters aside, the robots seemed like caricatures of themselves. The magic of Transformers 1 was that the robots seemed real and you could establish a small connection with them. Almost every Transformer besides Optimus Prime was in the movie only for comic relief. Those twin robots? What the crap man!! They were more annoying than Jar Jar Binks! Here is my biggest complaint: This is a story about a huge robot war that has made its way to earth. Robots, robots, robots! Why did Michael Bay have to sexualize them? Devastator with testicles? Boo! The little remote control Transformer humping Megan Fox’s leg like a dog? Again, boo!
Let’s just set morality aside for a moment. These are freakin’ robots! And unless they are Caprica Six from Battlestar Galactica, there should be nothing sexual about them! These are not robots studying the human condition, a-la Data from Star Trek TNG. Why anthropomorphize them that way?
Let’s put morality back in the mix. This movie is PG-13 but it is marketed to kids. C’mon folks, let’s be real. I see the commercials on Nickelodeon and Disney and I see the toys prominently displayed at the local Wal-Mart or Target. THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR KIDS!!!!
Maybe I’m too pure a sci-fi fan. Maybe I am too picky. All I wanted was to see giant space robots (check), big explosions (check), fast cars (check), a pretty girl (check), and a fun and entertaining story to glue it all together (epic FAIL).
I was not expecting an epic movie or a movie to make me think or a movie to move my emotions. I just wanted a summer popcorn-eater blockbuster. I did not get itl